Sociological Messages

“Media messages draw on broader sets of cultural codes about how the world works.  These codes build on assumptions that do not have to be articulated.  In other words, the meaning of media texts depends, to a great degree, on the taken for granted…Magazine images assume certain definitions of beauty or success, and films and television programs draw on layers of assumptions about relationships between men and women, parents and children, the rich and the poor.  Decoding, then, is the process whereby audiences use their implicit knowledge of both medium-specific and broader cultural codes to interpret the meaning of a media text” (Croteau, Hoynes and Milan 2012, 264).  One of these “media messages” that reality television shows have embedded in almost every episode are sociological messages.

The sociological messages that Mob Wives entails can be overlooked by many viewers. One might assume that the show emphasizes on the glitz and glamour but in reality, it shows America the negative side of being affiliated with the mob. Even though they have a lot of money and drive nice cars, they’re sad and distressed because they have husbands who have cheated and they find themselves raising a family all alone because their husbands are in jail.  These important sociological messages along with the emotional connections viewers have with each character are what ultimately makes Mob Wives such a successful reality television show. “Take a look at the successful reality shows over the course of the short history of the genre.  The most successful ones, the ones that draw the largest audience or project new faces into the so-called celebrity world, are those where the casting has been a mix of caustic, caring and daring people” (Huff 2006, 32).

One of the sociological messages is infidelity.  Along with infidelity comes the hardships that come with being  in a committed relationship with a man in the mob. One of the most shocking moments in season one was when Drita found out her husband, who was incarcerated, had cheated on her during his time between prison sentences. In an interview with HollywoodLife, Drita exclusively talks about why she’s splitting from her husband, Lee. She says, “I could never lay with a man that I know was with someone else.”  Drita decided to consult a divorce attorney on her options and refused to tell Lee that she was doing so. Since then, Drita has confronted Lee about his infidelities and decided to go through with a divorce. Drita then says, “I did speak to him and we do not speak anymore since I confronted him about it. We don’t talk.” Lee lied to Drita about what happened. “He said exactly what I thought he was going to say,” says Drita. “He said it wasn’t true, but I know it is. It’s just something that I don’t see him confessing to. I don’t really need his confession; I just need him to know that I’m not going to be there for him anymore. I can’t do it. I’m still heartbroken.”Because of what Lee did to her, Drita doesn’t know what the future holds for her love life. “I don’t think I’m ever trusting anybody ever again,” she admits. “I’d rather be by myself than with somebody I can’t trust. I’m used to being alone.” This is a clip from the episode where Drita finds out about Lee infidelity.

Another woman on the show who had to deal with infidelity was Renee Graziano.  In an interview with Renee, she explains what happened.  She  had a serious talk with her ex-husband Junior Pagan and they decided to try and get back together. During one of the episodes, Junior takes Renee to a nice dinner so that they can spend some time talking. But during this emotional dinner, Junior finally admits that he is the reason their marriage fell apart. “We got off to a very rocky start right from the beginning. We didn’t have the most successful marriage.”Junior at first tries to blame Renee. “That’s because you like to control people,” he says. “That’s why we had issues.”  Renee then says, “We didn’t have a successful marriage because you were having affairs.”Renee explains the story to the camera. “Junior’s cheating started before we even got married,” she reveals. “He kept on cheating. He kept blaming me. Bottom line was the liqueur, the strip bars, his jerk off friends, that’s what happened. That’s why he cheated.”Junior realizes that Renee is right and does his best to attempt an apology.

As shown through Drita and Renee, infidelity is a consistent sociological message throughout both seasons and it is something they live with on a daily basis. It brings them emotional strain and it’s something that people watching can possibly relate to if they’ve found themselves in a similar situation. Not everyone can relate to luxurious lifestyles but the relationships that these women have with their husbands/ex-husbands is a situation that people can relate to and identify with which is what makes it such a prominent sociological message. “One of the promises of the genre is that you don’t have to be a professional actor or entertainer-being on a reality show is work that anyone can do.  Indeed, this is precisely what makes it easier for fans to identify with cast members-the fact that the latter are drawn from the viewing public” (Andrejevic  2004, 6-7).

A second sociological message is family disruption.  The women on the show have to deal with a lot of life stresses such as having their husband and main provider  in jail for an extended period of time.  They’ve had to raise their children by themselves and deal with the news media writing about their husband’s lives.  Even though they have to deal with a lot of burdens on their life, they are strong independent women and find a way to make it without their husbands present.

One of the aspects of family disruption that is seen is through Drita D’avanzo’s ten-year old daughter Aleeya. Drita, who grew up very tough and threw her first punch in kindergarten, is trying to teach her daughters differently. Drita tells her kids, “I always do want you to stick up for yourself, but the last thing in the world that I ever want you to do is fight with anybody or hit anybody. I told Aleeya that’s the worst thing in the world that you can do.” And Drita’s kids are luckily adhering to their mother’s advice. “Aleeya had an incident when she first moved here with girls not wanting to be nice to her. She came home crying,” remembers Drita. But Aleeya didn’t raise her fist. “She actually said, ‘I was so mad that it was so hurtful, but I remember you said ignore them and I did.’ I was so proud of her because I was in kindergarten when I punched a kid in the face.”But Drita still fears that Aleeya’s emotions could cause her problems down the road.  Why I want to get my daughter help in therapy is because my husband had anger issues with the fact that the feds killed his father,” explains Drita. “He immediately had hatred towards the law. His mother said he became a totally different person when he woke up.” “Not that that’s Aleeya’s case,” continues Drita. “She can get angry at the world because her father’s not around,” but she keeps it all inside.  Having a parent incarcerated  has a detrimental  impact on children as it inflicts many emotions.  “There are approximately 10 million children in the U.S who have had one or both parents incarcerated.  These children and youth have little or no voice about who, in the absence of the parent who is the primary caregiver, will take care of them, or if they will be allowed to visit or communicate with the incarcerated parent (Reed 1997, 154)

When it comes to keeping her family together, Drita is just trying to remain positive. “I’m putting my mind and energy completely into making money on my businesses with my cosmetic line, Just Me, and the workout DVD coming out,” shares Drita. “Always have something to fall back on because depending on the man is the worst thing,” Drita advises other women who are going through similar situations. “

When Carla’s husband Joe was sentenced to six years in prison, she was left to raise their two children alone, and began to see her life heading in the same direction of the many women she had grown up with. She often says family means everything to her , and without the help of her mother and father during Joseph’s incarceration, she doesn’t know where she would be today. Carla now plans to take her career to the next level, with hopes of designing her own line of everyday and athletic womens wear clothing. On her down time, Carla loves to whip up quick, hardy and wholesome meals for her family and has hopes to publish a cookbook in the near future. Carla Facciolo has set her bar high and is devoted to making a better life for her children

To conclude, Mob Wives presents two important sociological messages that shouldn’t be overlooked.  It illustrates the hardships from a woman’s perspective of a husband’s infidelity as well as the topic of family disruption which is seen through not only the women themselves, but also their children.   We all have a perception of what we want our future to look like.“Cultivation effects have been mostly investigated with respect to the perception of social reality, (what is “normal” behavior in the social environment, and what we describe as “social perceptions”), but may also apply to perceptions and beliefs related to the self” (Eisend and Moller 2007, 103).  The situations that the women find themselves in is not the idea perfect family, but they make the best of the situation by being the strong independent mob wives that we all know and love.

Works Cited

Andrejevic, Mark. “Between the New Medium and the Old.” Reality TV: The Work of Being Watched. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 2004. 1-21. Print.

Croteau, David, William Hoynes and Stefania Milan.. “Active Audiences and the Construction of Meaning.” Media/society: Industries, Images, and Audiences. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE, 2012. Print.

Eisend, Martin, and Jana Moller. “The Influence of TV Viewing on Consumers’ Body Images and Related Consumption Behavior.” Marketing Letters 18.2 (2007): 101-16. Print.

Huff, Richard M. “Casting: Finding the Freaks, the Geeks, and the Stars.” Reality Television. Westport, CT: Praeger, 2006. 31-43. Print.

Reed, Diane F. “Children of Incarcerated Parents.” Social Justic/ Global Options 24.3 (1997): 152-69. Print.